One Baby Step Closer

We now have clear and absolute proof that Jim is not crazy. We went to a rheumatologist today who made it clear that Jim does actually have a connective tissue disorder. More blood tests were taken to determine, if possible, what he actually has.

I cannot express the feeling of relief that I have that a doctor has finally acknowledged the fact that Jim is truly sick. It was music to my ears to hear the doctor say that Jim is a relatively young man (43), and men of his age just don't get this sort of illness EXCEPT FOR THE MILITARY VETERANS he has seen. This might not make everything okay, but we think that it is a pretty good start.

All of the sudden, things have gotten very strange around here. We have finally come out of the closet that we think Jim's illness is Gulf War Illness. We feel that we are getting a run-around from the VA. We feel that the government has let us down in a very big and serious way. I think this is what people who suffer identity theft must feel like. It is disgusting that the person who has suffered the injury has to do all the legwork to make sure restitution is made. The government knows what went on, and they won't admit fault. There were vaccines given that were documented as Vaccine 1 and Vaccine 2. What is that all about? I just read an article that says some of the vaccines given were experiments. Didn't the government learn anything from the Tuskegee experiments? We don't do that to human beings. Period.

Not only am I feeling raw and betrayed, but I, and we, have to deal with people who think that GWI is a lie and a farce. That, too, is like believing in Santa Claus - some do, some don't. I can say, without equivocation that something is very wrong with my husband. He is not the same person, physically, that he was even five years ago. He used to be able to work for hours and still play with the kids. Now, the can't get through any work without needing a nap. When people call and ask for him, and he is sleeping, I just tell them that he is out of the house. If I do say that he is sleeping in the middle of the day, I get a lot of very rude comments. People think he is lazy, slovenly, depressed, etc. He is none of those things. He is sick.

I have to admit that even I didn't want to admit it for a long time. After my last post, I was contacted by someone who is very involved with the fight to get diagnosis and treatment for GWI. She's heard this story from hundreds, if not thousands, of people since 1993. She has pointed me in the direction of articles that have left me numb. I told her that we feel like we are out in the wilderness screaming and no one can hear us. There is an Advisory Committee meeting regarding GWI in Washington, DC at the beginning of May. We won't be going, but we are certainly going to try to submit some testimony.

Even writing this is making me feel paranoid. Am I flagging myself as a malcontent? Will all of this come back to bite me in the behind? I know that the Pentagon, State Dept., CIA, Dept. of Defense all know what happened. Donald Rumsfeld, Dick Cheney, Colin Powell, George Bush senior, and GW all know. If they do not own up to their complicity in harming thousands of people's lives before they die, I hope they twist in the pain and agony they have caused for eternity.

There. If that doesn't bring the NSA to my door, I guess I'm not doing my job right.

One Chullo Down

I finished this hat in about a week and a half. It was so much fun to knit. I learned how to do two-strand colorwork when I did some test knitting for a designer friend of mine. It took me five months to do her test. You can see that my speed has improved a bit. I had to do some fiddling with the i-cord edging. Since my spatial relationship skills are horrible, I had to start the i-cord from both sides, when it is supposed to go all the way around. If you look really hard, you can see all of the mistakes. I also have lots of ends to weave in. On the next hat, I will just knit the ends in to save time. I am researching a book called 1000 Great Knitting Motifs for the next hat. I am geekily into this!


On the non-knitting front, there is a lot going on that I will probably be writing quite a bit about in the future. My husband has been suffering from what we believe is Gulf War Illness for several years now. Lately, it has gotten really bad. He is sore and exhausted all the time. We keep getting ridiculous answers from the VA. They keep trying to tell him that he is getting older, so some aches and pains are bound to creep in. He's only 43! Hell, I'm almost 40, and I hardly get any sleep, but I'm able to get through my day, play with the kids, do school, etc., without needing to sleep for a couple of hours between activities! The VA was instructed back in the '90s to diagnose all of the Gulf War Vets with PTSD, instead of owning up to the fact that they poisoned the troops who were there. It's a very long story, and I am shocked and disgusted at what I have found out. Please keep him and our family in your prayers.

The sweater - FINISHED!!

Okay, I know you have all been waiting with baited breath to see the sweater that I have been talking about for so long. Here it is. It is the Happy Husband, designed by Janet Szabo. I did it as a part of of KAL (Knit A-Long) on the Aran Yahoo group. It was such a joy to knit. The sleeves got a bit monotonous, but the rest of the sweater just grew and grew under my needles. I loved knitting it and I am looking forward to starting another soon. I am already looking at yarn and patterns.

In the meantime, I am making chullos for the kids for their First Day of Winter gifts. This is also just a really fun thing to knit. I thought they might take a long time, but I am already over half finished with the first one. Now I know that it won't take me from now until December to make the other four. I will have some time to play with colors and patterns, which is more fun than being under the gun to finish gifts.

The weather is taking a really yucky turn this week. We are supposed to get measurable snow between tonight and tomorrow. I could do without this, but who am I to argue with Mother Nature? Oh, well, more knitting time for me!

Spring Play

After a very long, and very housebound, winter, we are revelling in this wonderful spring weather we have been having lately. We played outside in the sunshine most of yesterday afternoon. We played baseball and threw the frisbee around. How soon do you think the majors will pick him up?

A good time was had by all.



Finally!